Safety First?? I think NOT... April 17, 2018 16:04

I remember being that non go with the flow girl of the late 80's in High School. I was so paranoid about getting into a car with someone drinking or whoever was driving for that matter. I had to have ALL the details of who , what , where and how things were gonna happen.  I was so afraid of getting in trouble that I never really did.  I always went the SAFE route but that doesnt mean I didnt take risks or be the first to do crazy things with my siblings.... Kinda contradicting but it boiled down to being in control somehow and I am pretty sure I developed all this from having been bought up by a single parent and having another sibling that went to prison.  I never saw my mother cry ! Only two times in her lifetime.  As vulnerable as I have been for many years , she was NOT.  She cried when the authorities called and told her she may need to put the house up for collateral or the time she ended a long term relationship and we were on our own again.  I never wanted to dissapoint her or anyone else for that matter, hence the begining of the people pleasing skills and the loyal to a fault skills were started at such a young age.

Fast forward to me a quarter into my 50's and teaching and inspiring and learning to do opposite of what safety entailed. 

As an adult we are stuck with all our lessons and trials and tribulations. We are hear with our experiences and our journeys as well as our pain.  This is all so much more fullfilling and forward moving that one must realize to thank all our fears and mistakes because there in the palm of your hands lie the answers!!

It seems that all the good stuff comes around 50 and so Ive embraced what it has to teach as I begin to be comfortable being grounded or in flight.  I now see and learn from writers like Brene Brown and being a constant observer and wisdom seeking nutso. I find that Im smiling more and loving spur of the moments and life little lessons that appear in daily life. ( if you are open to SEEING, they ARE THERE)

I learned that all this SAFETY and shields from our fears are actually nets we throw over our heads , and they lead to some of the biggest , unhealthiest creators of whats keeping you from moving ahead.  They show up in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EATING DISORDERS, ADDICTIONS, RAGE and blaming whomever is nearrest you!

Lately the weather has sucked out the joy in me occasionally and I have tried to find ways to find joy in the day. (puppies help alot until they scratch your face and form scars)  When I was going to counseling five years ago I remember her suggesting the gift of giving back or making others happy for in return, your gain is more than your gift. 

Anyways, if we are going to play board games we ARE following the rules....I play Safe in that instant.