permission July 19, 2022 15:04
Its amazing what a couple hours with a friend over coffee can do....people always talk about how wine or alcohol can get people comfortable in sharing or revealing their true colors. Coffee is more calm and relaxing and it depends on who you are with. The company you keep as they say, will either build you up , make you lose interest, bore you to pieces or in my case, mirror your life exactly and what you say and share comes from a place of love and wonder and mirrored connection.
Every time though, I am convinced that the universe always gives you what you need at the right time....ALWAYS. If you didn't receive or see the message, you just weren't ready for it.
Time passed by like water flowing down the stream this am. What I told and shared with my friend or most importanlty, what I heard and saw in her I see in me. Life just gives you mirrors and reflections as you walk on your journey.
The last two weeks, going on the third week has been more life lessons and reveals. Its showing up in my friends, my art and my golf and I am one step away it seems in getting back to my axis...When I say axis, I mean my center , the place where I feel at home and aligned.
I am giving myself permission and in talking to my friend today, I saw all the instances her and I have had where we come close so many times but its never stuck . Its been centered this heart of mine off and on so many times and then things happen and will happen many more times in this life but I guess it only falls off when the alignment is compromised as we were being people pleasers or we decided to help others or avoid our own stuff and float in others lives because we didn't value or own. We were programmed as little girls and taught that pride was wrong and we were punished for it and then it became our emotional home. It became all that we had to work with even though it never was working but we chose that "home" because we wanted to belong to something . We wanted to be validated , heard and seen . We chose whatever looked safe and sometimes the people doing the holding and letting your in didn't want what was best for you. They wanted to control something other than themselves. We always knew we were good enough deep down but we couldn't do it on our own so we went off our home base and axis and went looking even though all along it was right inside of us.
Today, I am giving permission, I am the only person that can give it to myself. I'm choosing this right now, today.
Give yourself permission, everyone has tried to shut you down, dim your light and you let them....some people gave you permission but you didnt love yourself more than that person so you kept loving them because they loved you, always swaying off your own axis. Now you want to stand , to RISE. To give out what you shared but what you've never given yourself ever.... Stay there, just stay....LIVE, LOVE and give yourself permission.