Boundaries or BUST June 12, 2018 17:14
Came across this amazing quote today from my friend Kristin. We do a lot of shows together and every couple of months or so we have gotten together midway from our houses and met at a local Starbucks to visit. There has been times where we have talked for five hours straight without a hitch and a bathroom break. Anyways, Ill write about her one of these days but our last visit had us both taking notes from each other and today she sent this quote. Its rare I write back to back on the blog but this one stated it so well.
“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.”
BOOM! this calls for me to share some more stories and some growth for all of us!
We were talking about our past relationships with family and our friends but this quote applies to all of our relationships in this lifetime of ours. We talked about the journey each of us has gone with our relationships and I bought up that they are what makes this life of ours a learning curve and a journey. Can you imagine not passing another human and engaging in convo and either connecting or just making a new acquaintance? I assure you , there are people who live far away from crowds and as much as I love my relationships and social life, I have spent some days or weeks where I just wanted to crawl in my safety spot at home and be anti-social or not deal with the outside world of my comfort of home. If your like me and experiencing 50 , you may or may not have ended your people pleasing days……I have to admit, Ive closed that book and I am working my way out and becoming….. WHO I REALLY AM…..no apologies , no regrets and heavens ….WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE. I am all about teaching the unbecoming project and unearthing the ins and outs of our relationships. Ive seen my husband and family and friends establish respect in the workforce or with family. Ive seen that it is not always easy but it has to be done. If we do not take that step to build the BOUNDARIES then how are we gonna gain respect from others ? MOST OF ALL HOW WILL WE BE ABLE TO RESPECT OURSELVES????? I can think of three or four instances lately , especially in my business endeavors of where I was able to ask or place boundaries in such a way that there was no emotional attachment to it. This is key, as “confidence is silent and insecurities is loud ”
I shared with Kristin my times when I went to the old way of thinking when past relationships were ended , not by choice , but they disappeared into the universe and as sad as it was, it was a part of my journey. When you get mature and start respecting yourself first then, and only then can you move through life a little easier and your relationships become fewer but with more meaning and a whole lot more LOVE. People pleasers tend to hold onto these past relationships and try to dissect them to find out what really went wrong. Such a waste of time but it is part of life.
So boundaries are really not negatives or awkwardness. They really are ones way of respecting both parties and moving forward to change. When you meet or come to a fork in the road of life or with your relationships, take kindly to the paths that lead to your heart and soul. Its the only way to live and the only way to walk this earth as your authentic self.
Lastly, as yesterdays post was an Amy Poehler quote, ” It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry about.” Do not beat yourself up, these quotes and this life of ours are just little messages and signs to growth and purpose. Most of all this gives meaning and puts perspective on the fact that everything that happens to you is not negative or a setback. Growth is recognizing that the challenges are there to show you where you have come and makes life anything but boring.
Together as women, we RISE…. savor those coffee shop talks with your girlfriends! xoxo to you @Kristin Johnson aka SISTERS CREED.