Everything is happening as it should... July 10, 2018 16:12
Today I went to a local coffee house to get out of the house and get some inspiration going which usually works. After two hours of not being able to focus and avoiding a parking ticket I got back on my scooter to head home. A lady talking on her phone and enjoying her acai bowl caught my eye. I slowed down and pulled over, not sure if it was who I thought it was and then she looked at me staring. She then waved and I felt safe enough that it was her. We caught up after not being able to keep an engagement the weekend before . I wanted more time but she was on a lunch break. She gave me a paper that was folded and said , “read that when you get home” She beat me to it and sent another copy to my email . She told me she read it to her friends last night during a toast. When I started to read it , it started to make sense and I thought she was the narrator but it was someone else. It felt like her writing but I found out it just moved her and gave her inspiration for her own journey and it gave her validation I am guessing because it was soo good and I don’t believe any of us should change who we are, nope, NOT ONE BIT. We can change our way of thinking and stop the negative self talk. We can admit we are “too much ” woman as the poem was about. We can own and validate our own strength and sit in it. We have to in order to rise.
Anyways, my day turned around after meeting with this friend and it inspired me to get some material out , which is what my goal was anyways. My point being , is I’m still feeling stuck and trying to make sense of what I have to learn right now for my own personal journey and its such a testament to the fact that life works with you and not against you. You have to be big enough and own your own shit to see it this way. As I titled this blog, “everything is happening as it should” well that is what my friend wrote about me, how we met and learned from each other when we most needed it. Well , it goes both ways. I am learning from her also. We all learn from each other and these relationships we have come and go and some stay forever but none of them are bad or mistakes .
To change the subject a little or simply another thought has swirled around in me head lately that kind of relates to the above or could be totally different but I will keep writing as I got a good start.
Last week, I spent five days in Montana with my sweet little family that contains, two dogs and a stressed out Husband. ( He has been overwhelmed with way too much work) Anyways , I got to Montana with about five books so that I could read what I was in the mood for. I have been reading a book by Chrissy Metz, the star of “THis is US” a current television hit and everyone’s favorite Tuesday night show. She was talking about her relationship with her Dad. In the short sentence , a big huge light bulb went off for me…..
She seems to have spent a good chunk of life as a people pleaser which I vowed to stop being when I turned 50 . Anyways, she was taking of the lack of relationship with her Dad and was trying to remember positive moments and her words went like this,
“I didn’t see my own accomplishment; I saw my Fathers reaction to my accomplishment”
This really struck a nerve with me on my trip and I dog eared the section because I didnt have anything with me to write it down or save it. How many times in our lives have we done things , great things where we have RISEN or not RISEN and didn't see the accomplishment??????? How many times have we lived in the shadow of our own RISING moments? HOW many times have we spent our days thinking of the reactions and not living in the MOMENTS ???? I personally can think of very specific moments where I just wasted so much self sabotaging and thoughts so negative to myself that I had no idea I was doing it. I may have re done something to make it more perfect in order to get a different reaction or action to get validation for my accomplishment in fact I probably still do it…. Ive never strived to be perfect but I read the other day from yet another strong women, being BRENE BROWN about learning that perfectionism is an ARMOUR she said …”Its not internally driven like healthy striving, its extremely driven and fueled by “what will people think”
SO powerful !!! and something to ponder.
In closing for today’s thoughts of mine and tying this all together….. Make sure you realize the moments when you stop to visit quickly with a friend or life has thrown you a curve ball. These moments are part of the lesson for your journey and they are sometimes little hugs from the universe or the angels watching over you…. They are little ah HAS….to get you moving forward. You must still RISE and RISE OTHERS , you must ….you just MUST…and of course know that EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AS IT SHOULD.
This inspired me to change some wording on my street fair event . I have some new hoodies coming for Fall and they have a wave in the pic. I changed up my wording to “make your waves” peace within …. Because we have to not play small and continue with being who we really are.