"Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness..." Desiderata April 07, 2015 13:16 2 Comments

FEAR.  Lets talk about that big word that is the culprit of well, just about everything!  It has taken a long time to learn this tricky little word and how it seeps into our everyday lives in so many different ways.  I find that a lot of people don't even know it exists or the multitude of ways it encapsulates our whole being and puts us at a standstill. I am in the late part of my 40's and the interesting thing is my business name is aptly called, peace within.  Seven years ago on a bday trip to Vegas my husband and I sat down trying to find a name that wasn't taken and had meaning.  I didn't know the whole meaning to it until I started the journey and the neat thing is, it is my journey and it was started in ways I didn't know.  I had no idea it would teach me about life, people and relationships.  I knew I would learn about fabric and quality of goods, financial planning, dreams, people skills, taking the plunge, travelling etc.  I didn't know it would be the new "fabric" of my life and lead me to this day, this hour, sitting at a coffee shop.  Well that s how life really works and these are the lessons to be had. Back to that big word....FEAR......I am continually being challenged with it and I continue to see how much time we've wasted not knowing it was all just based on Fear. Lately, Ive tackled some big ones.  In December I quit my job of 18 years, it no longer fulfilled my soul or benefitted who I was really supposed to be.  I didn't feel like my authentic self and it took probably the last three years struggling with the decision and basing the decisions off of other people's fears as well as my own. I had to step out of my comfort zone and be a planner, well I'm a spontaneous girl!  These thing require some realistic plans and so with all the anxiety and fears I pulled the trigger. I was tired of being the girl that just lived the 9-5, that wasn't who I was but like everything, it taught and prepared me for this next adventure and for that I am grateful. Back to FEAR, again I am trying to process this so to share with you the readers.  You probably clicked this blog because you know that fear lives in you or your day to day life.  Did you know that it is in every relationship you have ??  Did you know that we are all coming from a place of FEAR or ANGER ?  Well some of you bright minds have already figured this out and acknowledged that it is a part of every decision you make.   A few blog posts ago I wrote about TRIGGERS, it comes back in this post. Social media of all sorts has been posting quotes and sayings of positive or sarcastic notes.  Our times now have changed, people are trying to better their lives.  Everyone wants to be happier, healthier and wise.  You see posts that talk about getting rid of unhealthy people in your life....your growing up and want to weed out relationships that don't fit your needs anymore or ones that "trigger" your past.  Those are the ones that we have much to learn from !!  Are you supposed to shy away from them ?? Yes or NO...The thing you have to ask yourself is....Are you coming from a place of FEAR or LOVE....most times its FEAR or Anger depending on where you at in life or in some cases its an age thing.  Don't get me wrong, some of these are instances where you need to just cut the ties.  My whole point here is RECOGNIZING the triggers in the relationship...it eases so much pain and creates so much understanding which then leads to LOVE.  Everyone is going to protect their hearts and put their walls up, these are based on past relationships and often they started in your youth.  The kind of parents you had, the experiences you had and the past is the past, we don't live there anymore.  However, it is a tool to your future , your now.  After you have forgiven your past and the people you needed to forgive you are on the right Track.   So some examples here....I had a relationship that was really close and spent a majority of time with that one person..a lot of trust issues were broken and I ended up becoming a prisoner of my own home because it was my safe place.  Not to go into many details but I was coming from a place of FEAR even though I didn't do anything wrong, I ended the relationship.  Do I regret it?? not really but we have established a new relationship of some sort and it was a very growing time.   But I was coming from a place of fear because there were a lot of instances in my childhood of lies and not belonging and as I took trust to be a very sacred thing, it really triggered a lot of pain and suffering and to me the trust issues in that relationship had nothing to do with me but I couldn't live with it seeping into my mind and heart.   If it happened now that I'm older and have these tools as we are talking about , I would have recognized the FEAR and not let it effect me emotionally.  It would have been a whole different ballgame.   I would've come from a place of LOVE instead of FEAR and would have had a little more empathy for that person and the relationship.  Being in Control is another form of fear and probably another blog, lets just stick with this for now...lets all remind ourselves when the anxiety kicks in, the emotions are high...ARE YOU COMING FROM A PLACE OF FEAR OR LOVE??   CHOOSE LOVE. CHOOSE LOVE. CHOOSE LOVE.  It all makes things more simpler and happy.  peace within.