Just spent five days in one of the most beautiful places on earth and it just so happens to be only two hours from my house! Sticking with tradition, my husband and I made our yearly trek to Priest Lake for our annual Christmas getaway. We don't have kids and we buy things when we need them throughout the year so by the end of the year we just want to go and play in the snow and make believe that the cabin on the lake is ours. We pack up and plan our meals, load the truck with our four legged child and bring our snowshoes , a stack of books and leave the laptops behind. When your up there, its another world, we need so little and there is so much time to contemplate and realize how lucky we are to be surrounded by so much beauty in the outdoors. Its such a simple five days with just the necessities and when you come home to all your baggage and STUFF it is back to reality.
Anyways, we re connected and cuddled and our sweet chloe snuggled close and I got lost in two books and a sense of wonder and peace with all the surroundings.
Today I am feeling un-motivated and a snow storm is on the horizon. I got the workout out of the way and got cleaned up to head to one of the many coffee shops in town. Its where I get my best work done writing down my thoughts and contemplating the new year ahead. This will be the first full year of being 50 and what will I do??????? I DONT KNOW! There is some changes on the horizon that I cannot share yet and a new puppy is on the way, plenty of distractions and fear kicking in.....I have a camp to finish filling up and I am gonna have to get into camp mode so as to be prepared come Feb 23 when 20 women descend on our beautiful surroundings we call home in North Idaho. I am the peace within lady and at the moment I don't have it all together and that scares me. It keeps me awake at night, it sometimes makes me un motivated and the fear is coming back again....anxiety may set in but what do I do? One step in front of the other ! I go back to my self talk and say, "it's all gonna workout" "it always does" " Maybe you should just wait till Jan 1"
I see a friend just typing away and I ask her to watch my things so I can go move my car. I stare out the window and sip on my Americano as the snow lightly touches down.......
I find a quote that I had seen posted somewhere and a friend also texts me and that is where I begin to think.....
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe its about unbecoming everything that really isn't you,
so
you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."
This really seems to have set my thoughts straight and it feels so right. I think when you get to 50, which I have, for most people, it really is a milestone in a lot of ways where you give your self permission personally and socially in so many ways.
You really see a lot of things you have done in the past and your mistakes are really not mistakes, just lessons. Those lessons are you realizing that everything you have done up until now is simply how it was supposed to happen. What is on the horizon is what you make of it . How you react to it. If you treat yourself right things do fall in place and all the times you weren't kind were just the parts of you that didn't fit your puzzle of who you are. People force things sometimes instead of working through it. In my past blogs I have touched on these blockages and remaining stuck.
So I guess all I have for you today is this...
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